Chocolate Zombie

I walked into work today, expecting the usual when out of nowhere a man jumped out at me. He stared at me with his flashing red-brown eyes, wickedly grinning from ear to ear.
"Chooocholate......" he moaned, shuffling toward me with outstretched hands. I fled down the aisle, screaming bloody murder as the chocolate-zombie-guy chased me. I pulled out my marshmallow gun to slow him down, and shot a few sugary-puffs into his gaping mouth full of rotten teeth.

"Shoot!" He chomped down the marshmallows way faster than I thought he would and continued his chase. I skidded into aisle seven with barely any breath left. I found the richest chocolate I could find, and without hesitation I chucked it at the chocolate-zombie. He opened his mouth an eternal yawn, devouring the chocolate as I made my getaway. Whew.

Walmart Hires Anyone

Today I go into work, like a normal person. Blue shirt. Check. Khaki pants. Check. I walk through the doors, when out of the blue something slimy smacks me in the face. I look up to see a gigantic loogie hanging from the ceiling. Curious, I stare at it. Who wouldn't stare at a gigantic loogie? After about 30 seconds of brain numbing staring, I realize that the loogie is wearing a uniform. Wal-mart truly hires anyone and anything. Enough said.